Like A Zombie

Dec 21, 2008

I experienced a severe case of cabin fever tonight. I needed to get out of the house and into some vagina or a closed fist,either would suffice. When I get lonely and hunger for companionship, My wang MUST be included. TOM AND JERRY……..PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY…..CHEECH AND CHONG…..ME AND MY WANG, ok ,so it doesn’t quite have the same ring to it but our partnership should always be assumed.

And so I set out on a journey that would take me to far and distant places in

search of that one special woman , a soul mate perhaps,who ,with one mere glance, would forever capture my heart.

NAH, I just logged onto http://www.plentyoffish.com to find a slut. I instant messaged a rather hefty gal and asked her if she had plans for the evening. She didn’t. Just to test the waters, I invited her to my home to watch a movie with me. She accepted. Then I requested to move the activity to HER place, I obviously wasn’t going allow my parents to see me with a sub par looking individual, a big beer bellied b i t c h, a centerfold for meat magazine.

She had 2 kids and was uncomfortable with the idea of meeting there. I then suggested my car and she agreed. She made the 20 minute journey to my small hometown in bum f u c k Egypt and we met in the parking lot of a taco bell. I felt butterflies in my stomach.

The idea of meeting a stranger, whom id never spoken to ,appealed to me greatly.She text me once she arrived and informed me that she was driving a blue Nissan. I drove there and parked beside her. We both exited our vehicles and shared an embrace…….it was beautiful in its simplicity, It was as if 2 souls had merged together into one ,we were practically sharing the same heart……

I hope not, She was one cheeseburger away from a heart attack
And sloppy
Her car was dirty
My c o c k went floppy
but I couldn’t stop me
I was like a zombie
But not the walking dead
Just a dude ,online dating, to get some head

Ill slide my hands up her shirt
to undue her bra strap
and be unable to find it
because its lost in her back fat

its like a disease
this testosterone
keeps me up for days
to find a fat chick to bone
when I’m alone and no one will know
Ill take some nookie
from a girl on a diet of ice cream and cookies/end rap

mchenry: you have a nice car,lets take a ride in it

sloppy girl: ok

I climbed into the passenger seat and advised her on which direction to go.

mchenry: so ummm hows life

sloppy girl:its ok

mchenry:just ok?

sloppy girl:ya

The conversation was awkward and I was loving it. It heightened the excitement for me for some reason. The fog was dense. We pulled onto the side of an orchard road. I grabbed a fist full of her hair and darted my tongue down her throat.I put her hand on my wang. She rubbed it. I whipped it out and placed her hand on it.

She began to milk me like a cow. It felt good. She stopped at periods during the make out session. Probably to reflect upon how much of a whore she was/is.

mchenry: suck it

she shook her head. She could rationalize her BEHAVIOR LATER AND CONVINCE HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN FACT, not a whore ……whores suck c o c k.She obviously didn’t do that. The radio was on. Britney spears “Womaniser” played in the background. Thats what I felt like in that moment, she , i assume, felt womanised.

I pushed my sweater up to the level of my upper chest and shot my load from a reclined position. My DNA was all over the car.

mchenry: Don’t murder anyone in here when you leave,my DNA is all over the interior of this car.I don’t want to be framed for a crime later.

She laughed. She found some napkins for me to clean up with. I threw them out the car window afterwards to reunite them with their fellow trees. The time was 12:47 am

mchenry: We better leave now, taco bell closes at one and Ill get my car towed if I don’t move it by then

sloppy girl: ok

she drove back to the parking lot of taco bell. I hugged her goodbye.

mchenry:it was nice to meet you

sloppy girl:you too,bye

I drove away with a reinforced opinion that casual sex is meaningless and unfulfilling. I’d much rather “feel” something ,for someone. But I wont settle for less then what I deserve. But what do I bring to the table? IM 28 years old ,unemployed and live with my parents. Major chances must take place in the year 2009. I have some new years resolutions to make……………